Chapter 6
Stop Fuming and Fretting
MANY PEOPLE MAKE life unnecessarily difficult for
themselves by dissipating power and energy through fuming
and fretting.
Do you ever "fume" and "fret"? Here is a picture of yourself
if you do. The word "fume" means to boil up, to blow off, to
emit vapor, to be agitated, to be distraught, to seethe. The
word "fret" is equally descriptive. It is reminiscent of a sick
child in the night, a petulant half-cry, half-whine. It ceases,
only to begin again. It has an irritating, annoying, penetrating
quality. To fret is a childish term,To fret is a childish term, but it describes the
emotional reaction of many adults.
The Bible advises us to "Fret not thyself..." (Psalm 37: 1)
This is sound advice for the people of our time.
But I can make your life so rich if you
will slow down now and live and move and have your being
." God moves imperturbably, slowly, and with perfect
organization. The only wise rate at which to live
is God's rate. God gets things done
and they are done right and He does them
without hurry.
He neither fumes nor frets. He is peaceful
and therefore efficient.
This same peace is offered to us —
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto
you..." (John 14:27)
"Life is so daily." That remark certainly spoke
volumes about the pressure, responsibilities, and tension of
daily life. Its persistent, insistent demand upon us is
provocative of pressure.
We were listening, listening deeply to the quietness. In a
strict sense, the woods are never still. There is tremendous
activity always in process, but nature makes no strident
noises regardless of the vastness of its operation. Nature's
sounds are quiet, harmonious.
On this beautiful afternoon, nature was laying its hand of
healing quietness upon us, and we could actually feel the
tension being drawn off.
they
could pass through this peacefulness and not give ear to the
music that is as old as the world, harmony and melody the
like of which man has never equaled: the song of the wind
through the trees, the sweet notes of birds singing their hearts
out, the whole background of the music of the spheres.
Remember the words of Jesus,
"Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest
awhile." (Mark 6:31) Even as I write these words and give
you this good advice, I recall instances where it has been
necessary to remind myself to practice the same truth, which
emphasizes that we must everlastingly discipline ourselves to
quietness if we expect its benefits in our lives.
God with His genius and skill had painted
that scene in the varied colors which He alone can mix. In
the still waters of the lake lay a reflected vision of His glory,
for the hillside was unforgettably pictured in that mirrorlike
pond.
"He leadeth me beside the still waters." (Psalm
23:2)
We arrived at Deerfield at eleven, but we were not
tired. In fact, we were deeply refreshed.
Practice "the
peace of God which passeth all understanding." (Philippians
4:7) Then note the quiet power sense that wells up within
you.
'muddied water,' says Lao-tse, 'let
stand, will become clear.' "
Meditate on the
solemn fact that when you get there permanently the world
will go on just the same and, as important as you are, others
will be able to do the work you are now doing. I suggest that
you sit on one of those tombstones and repeat this statement,
'...a thousand years in Thy sight are but as yesterday when it
is past, and as a watch in the night.'" (Psalm 90:4)
He noticed that a bird sleeps with his
head under his wing, the feathers pulled all around himself.
When he awakened, he pulled his bill out from under his
feathers, took a sleepy look around, stretched one leg to its
full length, meanwhile stretching the wing over the leg until
it spread out like a fan. He pulled the leg and wing back and
then repeated the same process with the other leg and wing,
whereupon he put his head down in his feathers again for a
delicious little cat nap (only in this case a bird nap)then the
head came out again. This time the bird looked around
eagerly, threw his head back, gave his wings and legs two
more big stretches, then he sent up a song, a thrilling
melodic song of praise to the day, wherewith he hopped
down off the limb, got himself a drink of cold water, and
started looking for food.
A former member of a championship university crew told me
that their shrewd crew coach often reminded them, "To win
this or any race, row slowly."
Speak to your muscles every day and to your joints and to
your nerves, saying, "Fret not thyself." (Psalm 37: 1) Relax
on a couch or bed, think of each important muscle from head
to feet, and say to each, "The peace of God is touching you."
Then practice "feeling" that peace throughout your entire
body. In due course your muscles and joints will take heed.
Practice and preserve mental quiet. Learn
the art of letting go all nervous excitement. To do this, stop
at intervals and affirm, "I now relinquish nervous
excitement — it is flowing from me. I am at peace." Do not
fume. Do not fret. Practice being peaceful.
One way to do this is to sit
quietly and pass a series of peaceful thoughts through the
mind. For example, pass through the thoughts the memory of
a lofty mountain, a misty valley, a sun-speckled trout stream,
silver moonlight on water.
At least once in every twenty-four hours, preferably in the
busiest part of the day, deliberately stop whatever you are
doing for ten or fifteen minutes and practice serenity.
All of a sudden I stopped. I was out of breath. I
asked myself, "What is this all about? What is the meaning
of this ceaseless rush? This is ridiculous!"
a little talk with myself, saying, "Come on
now, start living a slower and more relaxed life," and then I
affirmed, "God is here and His peace is touching me.
Without any introductory words I began to
recite certain Bible texts such as, "Come unto me, all ye that
labor and the heavy laden, and I will give you
rest." (Matthew 11:28) And again, "Peace I leave with you,
my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I
unto you.
Let not your heart be troubled,
neither let it be
afraid." (John 14:27)
And still again, "Thou wilt keep him in
perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee.
" (Isaiah 26:3)
I suggest that you begin with such a primary procedure as
simply the practice of keeping physically still. Don't pace the
floor. Don't wring your hands. Don't pound or shout or argue
or walk up and down. Don't let yourself get worked up into a
dither. In excitement one's physical movements become
accentuated.
Therefore begin at the simplest place, that is by ceasing
physical movement. Stand still, sit down, lie down. Certainly
keep the voice down to a low pitch.
In developing a calm control it is necessary to think
calmness, for the body responds sensitively to the type of
thoughts that pass through the mind. It is also true that the
mind can be quieted by first making the body quiet. That is
to say, a physical attitude can induce desired mental
attitudes.
A beginning step, therefore, in achieving
calmness is to discipline your physical reactions. You will be
surprised at how quickly this can reduce the heat of your
emotions, and when emotional heat is driven off, fuming and
fretting subside. You will be amazed at the energy and power
you will save. You will be much less tired .
1. 1. Sit relaxed in a chair. Completely yield yourself to the
chair. Starting with your toes and proceeding to the top of
your head, conceive of every portion of the body as relaxing.
Affirm relaxation by saying, "My toes are relaxed — my
fingers — my facial muscles."
2. Think of your mind as the surface of a lake in a storm,
tossed by waves and in tumult. But now the waves subside,
and the surface of the lake is placid and unruffled.
3. Spend two or three minutes thinking of
the most beautiful and peaceful scenes you have
ever beheld, as, for example, a mountain at sunset,
or a deep valley filled with the hush of
early morning, or a woods at noonday,
or moonlight upon rippling waters.
In memory relive these scenes.
4. Repeat slowly, quietly, bringing out the
melody in each, a series of words which express
quietness and peace, as, for
example, (a) tranquillity (say it very deliberately and in a
tranquil manner); (b) serenity; (c) quietness.
Think of other
such words and repeat them.
2. Think of your mind as the surface of a lake in
a storm, tossed by waves and in tumult. But now the waves subside,
and the surface of the lake is placid and unruffled.
3. Spend two or three minutes thinking of
the most beautiful
and peaceful scenes you have ever beheld,
as, for example, a
mountain at sunset, or a deep valley
filled with the hush of
early morning, or a woods at noonday,
or moonlight upon
rippling waters. In memory relive these scenes.
4. Repeat slowly, quietly, bringing out
the melody in each, a
series of words which express quietness and peace,
as, for
example, (a) tranquillity (say it very deliberately
and in a
tranquil manner); (b) serenity; (c) quietness.
Think of other
such words and repeat them.
5. Make a mental list of times in your life
when you have
been conscious of God's watchful care and recall how,
when
you were worried and anxious.
He brought things out right
and took care of you. Then recite aloud this
line from an old
hymn, "So long Thy power hath kept me, sure
it STILL will
lead me on."
6. Repeat the following, which has an amazing power to
relax and quiet the mind: "Thou wilt keep him
in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee."
(Isaiah 26:3) Repeat
this several times during the day, whenever you
have a
fraction of a moment. Repeat it aloud if possible,
so that by
the end of the day you will have said it many times.
Conceive of these words as active, vital substances
permeating your mind, sending into every area of your
thinking a healing balm. This is the best-known
medicine for
taking tension from the mind.
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