MORE ON LEARNING ENGLISH-DALE CARNEGIE

At a dinner party in New York, one of the guests, a woman who had inherited money, was eager to make a pleasing impression on everyone.

 She had squandered a modest fortune on sables, diamonds and pearls.

 But she hadn’t done anything whatever about her face.

It radiated sourness and selfishness. 

She didn’t realize what everyone knows: 

namely, that the expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back. 

Charles Schwab told me his smile had been worth a million dollars.

 And he was probably understating the truth.

 For Schwab’s personality, his charm, his ability to make people like him, were almost wholly responsible for his extraordinary success; 

and one of the most delightful factors in his personality was his captivating smile. Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”

 That is why dogs make such a hit.

 They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins.

 So, naturally, we are glad to see them.

 A baby’s smile has the same effect.

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“I have also eliminated criticism from my system. 

I give appreciation and praise now instead of condemnation. 

I have stopped talking about what I want. 

I am now trying to see the other person’s viewpoint.

 And these things have literally revolutionized my life.

 I am a totally different man, a happier man, a richer man, richer in friendships and happiness—the only things that matter much after all.”

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Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; 

drink in the sunshine; 

greet your friends with a smile, 

and put the soul into every handclasp.

 Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies. 

Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; 

and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal.

 Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs. 

Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual…

 Thought is supreme. 

Preserve a right mental attitude—the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer. To think rightly is to create.

 All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered. 

We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. 

Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. 

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“This man owed us a small sum of money,” Mr. Detmer explained to me.

 “The customer denied it, but we knew he was wrong. 

So our credit department had insisted that he pay.

 After getting a number of letters from our credit department, he packed his grip, made a trip to Chicago, and hurried into my office to inform me not only that he was not going to pay that bill, but that he was never going to buy another dollar’s worth of goods from the Detmer Woolen Company. 

“I listened patiently to all he had to say.

 I was tempted to interrupt, but I realized that would be bad policy, so I let him talk himself out.

 When he finally simmered down and got in a receptive mood, I said quietly, ‘I want to thank you for coming to Chicago to tell me about this. 

You have done me a great favor, for if our credit department has annoyed you, it may annoy other good customers, and that would be just too bad.

 Believe me, I am far more eager to hear this than you are to tell it.

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“That was the last thing in the world he expected me to say. 

I think he was a trifle disappointed, because he had come to Chicago to tell me a thing or two, but here I was thanking him instead of scrapping with him. 

I assured him we would wipe the charge off the books and forget it, because he was a very careful man with only one account to look after, while our clerks had to look after thousands. 

Therefore, he was less likely to be wrong than we were.

 “I told him that I understood exactly how he felt and that, if I were in his shoes, I should undoubtedly feel precisely as he did.

 Since he wasn’t going to buy from us anymore, I recommended some other woolen “In the past, we had usually lunched together when he came to Chicago, so I invited him to have lunch with me this day.

 He accepted reluctantly, but when we came back to the office he placed a larger order than ever before.

 He returned home in a softened mood and, wanting to be just as fair with us as we had been with him, looked over his bills, found one that had been mislaid, and sent us a check with his apologies. .

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There is one all-important law of human conduct. 

If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. 

In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble. 

The law is this: Always make the other person feel important. 

John Dewey, as we have already noted, said that the desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature; 

and William James said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” 

As I have already pointed out, it is this urge that differentiates us from the animals. It is this urge that has been responsible for civilization itself. 

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You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact.

 You want recognition of your true worth.

 You want a feeling that you are important in your little world. 

You don’t want to listen to cheap, insincere flattery, but you do crave sincere appreciation. 

You want your friends and associates to be, as Charles Schwab put it, “hearty in their approbation and lavish in their praise.” 

All of us want that.

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